Expectations

Reader discretion advised

I wouldn't generally think aloud, but I thought this might help somebody.

We take some people for granted. We make up a mind about how they are, how they behave, how they'll react and then we expect. Expectations is always the root cause of turbulence. I read a quote few days back which has stuck in my mind. Cause of all bad is ignorance and laziness.

Going back, when we have a certain getup of a person in mind, we make expectations of how they are. And when they cross those boundaries we feel they have done something that was at least not completely right, if not wrong. Why am I saying all this mumbo-jumbo, off-course because I happened to experience one of these situations. For me it wasn't the crossing that bothered, but the way it was crossed bothered me, for a while. It bothered me because I had expectations of a certain stature of behavior. Expectations!

But, if we put ourselves in other people's shoes we realize that they do what they did, because that is the best they can think of. This thinking could be the accounted to several reasons, immaturity, apathy, or plain badwill, or fill-in-what-you-think. There are some other interesting reasons, like a tendency to think gray, these people can hardly think black or white.

So the thing to take from all of this is, don't have expectations. Are you serious, no way! We can't live without expectations, it is what leads to joy, sorrow, remorse, achievement.

So to simplify:

Always do the right thing. This will gratify some, and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

It remains to test how much of a hypocrite I am.

PS: If this has given you a tasteless tongue or a squint eye, sorry about that.

Chai-la

I have been a big chai fan. I gave away drinking milk pretty early as a kid, and have been hooked to chai ever since. In those days my breakfast used to be chai and biscuits, much to the displeasure of my folks. They still remember how adamant I was for chai, even for a matching saucer with the cup..I used to make a scene if I didn't get phool-wali bashi that is a saucer with flower designs...kids you know!

Over time, I grew, so did my passion for devouring different things with this enticing brown beverage. Diwali used to be fun. Mom used to make a big-daba full of the spicy crispy shevai just for me, and I used to finish it, every strand of it, dipped in chai! Spicy hot things dipped in chai somehow became a feast for my taste buds, and I started trying more and more. Next was my ever favourite chakli. These days I can't appreciate "dry" chakli anymore.

People by now had realized this kid is nuts, except for my cousin, who shared my passion with equal enthusiasm and pioneering spirit. She too new this spice-chai combo was fireworks-y. In fact it was her who introduced me to this new "dish"...the world famous Chitale's bakharwadi with chai! (WARNING: Do not try this at home, you'll die of acidity stroke.)

My experiments went on, much to my surprise I found that (bit salty)chapatis and ghavane(kind of dosas made with non-fermented rice flour) and churmure went equally good with chai. Ready-mix dosa and fried idlis dipped in some sweet chai give them a unique taste, I would recommend these to people willing to experiment :)

And then I went thinking...why did I become a chai person. I thought and thought, and then came a realization. I remember as a kid, watching my Dad, eating white poha(flat rice flakes) dipped in chai, he used to like it then. So its the genes, though they seem to be mostly dormant in him. But I remember him dragging us to a Irani restaurant in Mumbai, at dawn time, after we had just arrived by train, for having a maska-burun(a hard bread, donno if thats the way it is spelt) chai. Not that I regret.

After I started work, it used to be coffee most of the time, I had forgotten dear chai, until I came to Tucson, where my roomie Akshay started making chai regularly...for early morning reasons. And then I had the pleasure of relishing the works of great chai-makers Quadir, Vad & Bhavin.

My current roomies are more of filter-coffee annas. As for me, I have been a bad chai-maker till date, and that makes me really be-chai-n!

Blink

Its dark, can't see a thing. After trying really hard, I see a light. A white light. Suddenly my hand moves and I feel something warm touch me. I hear sounds, strange sounds. A chill runs down my spine and in a reflex my leg moves and hits something. The pain makes my eyes open wide, and in a flash I see it all.

A coffee cup on my desk, the cursor blinking on the screen and colleagues around, playing guitar hero. And my knee pains thanks to the useless cabinet sitting besides me. A sound lunch can make the boring afternoons astounding!

Back to the future

Back to the grind. Things are back to where they were, except for the rejuvenating trip to home. And though I had hoped that my last semester would be a bit relaxed, its seeming to be otherwise. With lots of things on my plate and deadlines and more deadlines its going to be a ride....which I must say is without much choice. Or should I say a choice which I don't have the courage to change. And it feels frustratingly bad when you are in such a situation, 'cause you are not in the driver's seat. A Matrix quote for the context, in the words of the Oracle:

"Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand *why* you made it. I thought you'd have figured that out by now."

The driver's seat reminds me, I can't take it yet...one more of my procrastinations, and on my todo list for this semester. The list is kind of overwhelming but I have started acting on it, with few things in place already, should keep that pace, and I should be more than done.

The trip back home was pretty introspective. It made the "big picture" even more fuzzier. I realized that I knew little about where I might be headed than I thought I did, which is good. Getting back to where I left, lets see how it goes all the way back, to the future.

Talking about times, again

My wrist watch from the last nine years stopped working. Its just a small gadget, but has been special for me. It was gifted to me by my Dad when I completed 10th. I have literally grown with it. It has been my friend in the changing times. Through the new found freedom in junior college, the blitzkrieg of engineering and then through the ups and downs of professional life and recently through the weirdness called grad life. This little thing meant so much, I didn't change its time after coming here in the US. It kept reading home time. After working day and night, and trying to keep my disorganized self in place, it is done for good.

I hope to get it back to life, after going home. These little things in life, sometimes we attach so much value to them. But they stand for something that can't be explained in words.

Enough sentigiri :P

Time, and again.

Summer was fun. Its been a month and a half since my school has resumed, and I have been juggling time. Its not that I'm short of it, I believe theres enough to do all possible things I can think of doing. But my context-switching is slow, time-division multiplexing isn't exactly my forte. Between two tasks there is considerable amount of time wasted in thinking about doing it, getting in the mood for it, and actually starting it. I would call it seek latency (there are always side-effects of technical education, but it feels good when you can relate things in this absurd manner, much to the dislike of many people!) or probably inertia, if you like. But I'm dealing with it, and things are looking...not that bad.

And off-course there is plain tp. I'm a royal tp-er. It takes more leisure time for me to "feel" a break from work, than would be required by most. That further reduces the productive time that I have. And then there are tons of other interests, or distractions if you look from the opposite perspective. Like writing this blog for example, I have a midterm coming up, an assignment due tomorrow is yet to be done, and here I'm, writing this stupid blog. So basically I'm a good time killer.

Putting fuel into the fire is the new found "socializing element". My roomies had been in town whole of summer, and the effects are showing. We have more people coming to our place in a day, than did in a month earlier. Every weekend is a over night party-party. Not that I'm complaining, socializing is the best thing you can do...sometimes, particularly when it is for the make-benefit of your roomies ;)

Amidst all the chaos, I'm feeling more positive than ever. Summer has taught me some things, it was fun.

While in Rome..

I engage into this "look at this country" conversations with people often. Its not intentional, just happens. One thing that I have been observing...some people I know have changed, they have crossed over to the other side. Once they use to pick out the fallouts now they don't stop praising the pluses...

So here are few of the "kodak comments" if I may call them. Offcourse these are generalizations on the other side of the coin, and intended to be funny.

"It is like a nursery, and all its citizens are children. They like to play with toys."

"What happens when you give a bike to a kid, he rides it everywhere, even from one room to another. They are like that, they like to drive their cars around".

"Do you see that, its all shiny new everywhere. Be it cars, houses or even people. Thats what makes me sick."

"Everybody dresses in these funny clothes, they want to be part of the mob. You know why? I told you, they are children, they are afraid of being outcast"

"Immigrants that come here try to be like them, they don't want to look out-of-place. They suffer from an unconscious identity theft."

"I feel afraid when intelligent people come here. They dumb down with time."

"There is no such thing as a free market here. Its a choice, that never was."

"What do you mean by a American restaurant?"

"Even the well earning people live a hand-to-mouth existence."

"They have this unreasonable arrogance, even though they may be less educated and civilized than you, just because they think they are special for being born here."

I like this one:
"Peshwai karbhar aahe re sagla..."

I have just one thing to say "Why do as the Romans do? Screw the Romans.". But then I realize, why am I in Rome?

I am living on caffeine

Ladies & Gentlemen...my blog has been blessed today with an exclusive guest post from a dear friend Vinayak (ise pyaar se log Samba kehte hain :) ) He wanted to contribute to the blogosphere without having to create one more of those single post wonders. I suggested what place would be better than this. So here it is, from the Belgaumite turned Punekar turned Tucsonite & these days a proud Bostonite.

I am living on caffeine

I am sure the title would have had a sparkling smile on someone’s face, at least I hope so. J

As for most people my day starts with a coffee. Being in Boston has introduced me to a wide variety of this drink. I drink it more often than water (at least when I am at work!) I start my day at the kitchenette of my office rather than my desk. Most of the times it is me who brews the first coffee in the morning. (I wouldn’t be surprised if a few folks on my floor might be even disgusted with taste of the coffee.) Well, I think using a machine where you pour a packet of powder and turn on a switch things can’t get really messed up. Using a brewer was a bit tricky for me the first time. The eternal relationship between man and machine made it simple in the first go though. It is usually a medium French roast from Starbucks that I prefer to start my day with. I preferred it for the first time since it did not say de-caffeinated which would have been a bad choice if it were. I am not sure how much this caffeinated coffee helps me control my sleep but it certainly does help me start my day with some activeness! I prefer my coffee with some crème, milk and sugar. I rarely prefer it black unless I want to get some taste of true coffee. A flavored creamer was what I had been missing the most until now. I just got some hazelnut and French vanilla (two of my most favorites). A taste of these creamers gives my coffee a subtle taste.

There is a huge TV hanging in the office kitchenette which is always tuned to the CNBC channel. Being in a finance company you will be bound to see a lot of business news channels. I can see coffee mugs on the desk of the anchors for the Squawk Box. The squawking is so loud at times I wonder how much of coffee or rather caffeine are they on. There are many more people who are hustling around the place to get their mug of first coffee for the day. As a colleague of mine said the other day; everyone loves their first morning coffee. As I listen to what the media has to say about the markets I observe people getting different types of coffees for themselves. Some like if black, some with crème, some with sugar, and everyone has their own unique way in which they like or rather love their coffee.

I was introduced to Dunkin Donuts for the first time at the JFK airport. Frankly, I did not like the taste of the first coffee I had here. But I was truly delighted by the tastes of their donuts. Glazed, Boston kreme, French curl are a few of my favorites. I try to avoid eating too many of them but I still end up getting them while on my way to the office. As I wait in the line for my turn to get my hands on to these sweet treats. I see people walking in and out, grabbing their favorite coffees, something that gets them started for the day. It is also a good time when I see a few pretty faces waiting to get their fresh coffee. A glance and a smile is the most I have been able manage until now. Asking out, not until now (Wouldn’t it be the silliest thing to do; asking a girl out for a coffee in a coffee store! Or maybe I should try it ;-) )

Coming back to me living on caffeine; I don’t remember the last time I had to get up so early and be active (I have always believed in utilizing the morning lectures as my extended sleep hours.) and coupled with my crazy sleeping schedule these days, It becomes exceedingly difficult for me to keep myself active at work. I don’t deny the fact of dozing off while I am at my desk but it happens rarely thanks to the French roast.

Being in the US I have tried a lot many types of coffees until now. So far so good, I have always enjoyed sipping on cup-a-coffee. I also prepare a few different varieties (or versions) of lattes myself. My friends at Tucson might want to opinionate about it. J

Nevertheless, the coffee I prefer the most (n these days I crave the most) is the traditional filter from India. It is a perfect blend of coffee- chicory decoction with milk and sugar. Served HOT. Gosh, the very thought of it makes me feel nostalgic.


- Vinayak Sambargi

Piled Higher and Deeper

Jorge Cham the creator of PhDcomics was visiting our university and luckily I was free today. It was a really nice talk, he is a great speaker with a very good sense of humour and timing, much like his comics. And to believe it, this guy is a Standford graduate and now a faculty at Caltech! His topic was "The Power of Procrastination", and I actually follow it quite well :P In his words, there is a difference between procrastination and laziness. When you are lazy you don't want to do things. When you are procrastinating you want to do the things, just that you don't want to do them now :)


I have a ton of things to do yet...before leaving for the summer internship...get a credit card, get a phone, new i-20, ra work and the remaining of the projects and exams. It just never ends.

This Diwali & Eid

This was the first time I spent Diwali without being with my family. I really missed being with them, with my friends. As TNT said, it is when you miss your family that you understand how important they are in your life.

I missed that early morning aura of Diwali...the light, the sound, the smell, the feeling, its just inexplicable.

My roommate Sagar's mom had sent faral, so I didn't miss on that. And we tried to create some mood by putting up lights as kandil. Eid was grand, Quadir (my other roommate) made royal feast with sheer kurma, gulab jamun and vada pav. He is just too good a cook, be it veg or non-veg. And blessed are we, his roommates :)

With my midterm course work wrapping up just before Diwali, I could enjoy the short vacation. Saw movies (yes, back at it!) back-to-back. Sahara, Cars and Memento. Sahara is good for a lazy afternoon. Cars is nice, but it didn't appeal as much as recent PIXAR movies. Maybe the laptop screen stole some of the magic.... should have seen that on big screen.

Memento, its a masterpiece. Me and Sagar spent like an hour after watching it, discussing what actually happened in the movie and what the real story was. Finally we still had some loose threads, so we looked it up on the net...and got a really detailed explanation. But that critic too couldn't decipher the entire movie. We almost figured most of the things. One hell of a movie. A must must watch. This movie has raised my interest to watch Batman Begins, made by the same director.

Frantic..

Things are moving at a frantic pace...homework after homework, the bombardment is ON. Projects are surfacing, and mid-terms are near. My head is getting heavier by the day. As if to test my time management skills, my campus job will begin next week!

Digressing, i had written a mail to eSakal.com to start RSS feeds, the response was positive, so thats good news for all you Sakal lovers.

Hello Mr.Parag,

Greetings to you!

Thank you for your eMail and for your keen interest in eSakal.com

We are happy to inform you that eSakal.com is working on starting RSS feeds. In future also, eSakal will introduce new utilities and facilities for its knowledgeable audience.


Regards,

Webmaster,
eSakal.com

TP time slot exhausted;
Context switching to homework process;

:)

The Ganpati season

Its Ganpati time, i would have been having a blast celebrating the festival(not the right word, but couldn't think of anything else) back in Pune. But in here too we are having some fun time. Indian students here arranged a aarti-session lasting 7 days. Everyday at somebody's place(offcourse those who are enthusiastic about it)...and it was our turn this friday.

We had planned that around 20 people would come, looking at the turn-out on the earlier day, but were taken by surprise when some 38-40 turned out ! It became a bit testing for us to manage the catering. For the occasion a friend who lives nearby & me had prepared the special pujecha shira, and my roomie made rose-syrup-shake. Both the items turned out real well made( i know that i am a good cook :) & as Ameya puts it, "CS che loka husharach astat !") and got quite some appreciation from the guests...The aarti-sessions turned out real good social gatherings, you get to know someone new everyday.

Got a job at the library, but hoping to get something better than that. Its the long-weekend weekend, and i have got to do a lot of homework. And my creativity is down, i couldn't even think of a better title to this post.

Written in GNU nano: not a bad editor.

Crap

Its 2:oo AM in the corner of the screen...and i am still not sleepy.

Damn, AARRRGHH, shit, fsck, crap....whatever you call it, i'm feeling that all right now, even though there is this ultra-melodious "are re are" running in the background. I dont see the light at the end of the tunnel, theres no silver lining to the cloud and theres no Santa ! Damn !!

Somehow the thoughts flow more easily when I'm not in the right mood...should have used it to write something more sensible than this crap...see i cant stop using these words. A friend i made here, said some days back "sometimes you may feel why the heck am i here, away from home, from a life that seemed so much on the right path", and god, I didnt know such a time would come so soon...

Life, joke it is not
Coke, it might be
Dont let it fizz out
Kyunki yeh dil maange more...

Now you know what a disoriented mind is capable of  :P

Take off..

Classes have begun...the profs are getting into mood with every progressing lecture and so is the homework getting on the rise. Its been like just a single lecture of a course and i have already read 2 research papers ! I am scared.

Still don't have a job. So its just 7.5 hours of "official" workload for me for an entire week. Making dinner & keeping the apartment clean is becoming a daunting task day by day. The good part is that me and my roomies haven't screwed a single dish yet and we do manage to make some delicious food. I am amazed at my cooking skills. I must have made almost all frequented sabjis , and believe me they tasted real good.

Our once unfurnished apartment now has a TV, VCR, DVD-player, a gorgeous corner lamp, a couch, 2 microwaves, 2 phones, a blender, a fan and 6 chairs ! All of this in around $100. Beat that. Offcourse most of things are used, some are thrown-away ones and none is new :P

My roomies are net addicts and my machine happens to run Linux most of the time. So I am forcing them to use it...just some service for the open community you know :D That reminds me that I have yet to name my 8 month old machine, a HP branded 64 bit lappy...can't think of a good name.

Forgot to mention the interesting thing. Its like hot, real hot in here in Tucson. That makes the loitering around in the campus a "sight-seeing" venture, and oh what a sight !

Getting some momentum

The plane is getting some momentum, still not off the runway though...

After getting literally spoon fed at our seniors' place for nearly 10 days, we have moved to our new apartment. And getting all cosy with the new place, its nice...with a verandah and all.

In the meanwhile things here are shaping up. Me getting a feel of life in Tucson now, after figuring out wheres, hows and whys and why nots here. The people in general are pretty helpful, but have "artificial" smeared all over them. People back home are better, they are what they are...the "have a nice day", "uh-hah", "may i help you" lines are making me sick. They sound good and polite, but harshly unreal. Personally i prefer peoples natural behaviour, though it may sound rude many a times. Ok, i am getting way off-the-track.

More later.

Still at bay

After searching for almost 2 days in the scorching heat that left me dehydrated we managed to get an apartment, it'll be ready in a few days. The sad part is that it isnt furnished.

Currently the place am staying at is a bit far from the university, a half an hour walk. So whatever work we have to do leaves us for atleast an hour's walk everyday, did i mention the burning Arizona sun. Its just been 3-4 days that i have been walking that much and i already feel i must have lost atleast 2-3 kilos! Cant afford the luxury of a vehicle, need to get a cycle soon.

I feel choked. I cant look for jobs, i cant read books from the library...cause i still cant register for classes. And i cant even look for furnishings as theres still time to get possession of our apartment. There is hardly anything i can do...just have to wait, and then just burst off in a thousand chores.

The only relief is the stay at the seniors. It would be hard to find people more hospitable than them. Thanks a lot guys (Sanket, Ameya and Rishab).

tran·sit (trăn'sĭt, -zĭt) n.

Writing after quite some time...was busy with a hundred things, literally.

Or more probaby i was a victim of the writer's block...better explained here on a friend's blog. Finally after a lot of "lets write" and "naah, not now" i have got down to write this senseless post.

Things are going to change as hell, as my life changes from a "happy going carefree" person enjoying the perks on a decent salary to a "fight, and fight more" for everything student. I can't imagine how i am going to manage without the environment i had at home and at my job. My job is my greatest timepass since i have left college :) I get todo all my stuff at work alongside the real work...and offcourse have a great time with colleagues. The workplace is almost an extended campus...the average employee age must be 25 or less.

Though i feel a lot good at heart that i'll be back to school, learning things. But the very next moment i think of the cost factor and i get butterflies in the stomach sometimes. I know its a calculated investment, but this is the very first time things are really on my shoulders, that gets me nervy.

So lets see whats in store next...

Speeding on the freeway...

(00:15:48) kshitij1983: nachya settle zhala arey !!!!
(00:15:57) kshitij1983: lagna sodun tyachya aayushyat ata kahi urla nahiy
(00:16:19) parag: seriously
(00:17:40) kshitij1983: Job, H1, 55K salary, GF, Car, cell, digicam, handycam, I-pod............
(00:17:48) parag: hehe
(00:17:52) parag: nice one
(00:18:21) parag: i am going to blog this

Is the chase worth it...?

Flock

Had a busy week at work followed by a week of vacation.One of my friends from college got engaged...both of them were my classmates...Everythings fair in this and that...ok, but getting engaged at 23, i didnt expect that atleast from a friend in close circuits who seemed to be on the same pages.

Anyway, i had been to Mumbai for 2 days. Theres this new paper called Mumbai Mirror targeted towards the youth. It has a special section on blogging and they publish posts of random blogs every day. Thats pretty cool. They even keep updates on related technology. Its from there that i read about this new browser, Flock. Its based on Firefox, and as of now not a fork. It has some nice features like, blogging tool and a machine independent bookmarking system. Finally i have something that i can use from Linux for blogging. Most of the tools i tried were either not working correctly or they didn't have the blogger atom api support. Some time back i tried writing a tool myself but then i got bored. Laziness and Ignorance are bliss.

This post has been written through Flock, and yes it can edit too!

Category [ _Tech_ ] [ _Review_ ]

Yada Kadachit

This a weird, whacky, whimzical and what not play (Marathi). Marathi theatre has always been producing state-of-art plays. And Yada Kadachit is a kick ass proof of that. The title Yada Kadachit translates to "if at all". The play exploits the "if at all" thought to all extents reachable. Here you get to see Maharbharat interleaved with Ramayana where Pandavas win over Kauravas. And Kauravas go to a vanvas. And they meet Veerappan and Shravan !

Gangster Gawli becomes Krishna here, and he becomes the Sarthi of Duryodhan. In all a real twisted and curled up story that gives a unstoppable, stomach-aching laugh riot. Throughout the play there is sarcasm flooding on socio-political scenario. And i have heard they change the script accordingly to sync with the current events.

Marathi folk lore, traditional music is blended with present day songs and advertisements for song tracks. The concluding episode when Duryodhan, who then speaks as a commom man, disproves of both Krishna's "War is religion" and Gandhian peace principles, speaks loads.

I believe there was a Hindi movie too based on this idea.

Digressing from the topic, the "if at all" concept produces innumerable possibilities. The thing that comes to my mind over this concept is the Theory of Parallel Universes. According to this whenever a choice is made a new fork is produced in the Universe. This forked Universe then exists in parallel continuing from the forked possibility. Thus forking on every possibility will create infinite parallel Universes, each different from other by a infinitesimally small degree.

So if you thinking of using a time machine to go back in time and change something, you will be actually forking into a new Universe. And that self of yours, whom you wanted to benefit by altering the history, will never gain from your act. Your other parallel self will. So here is a warning: don't try this at home!

Category [ _Review_ ]